THE UNSPOKEN STRUGGLES OF MOTHERHOOD: WHEN EVERY DAY IS A BATTLE

Being a mom is relentless. It tests the limits of your strength and often breaks them. And for those of us who are managing chronic illnesses while raising children with special needs, each day can feel like a personal battle—one marked by pain, exhaustion, and a profound sense of isolation.

With a body that rebels against even the simplest tasks, managing chronic pain or constant fatigue is a full-time endeavor in itself. This is the baseline before the myriad needs of a medically complex, autistic child even come into play. My days begin with stiffness and pain, fighting through the haze of medication or the fog of a sleepless night.

Medications, therapies, endless appointments—it’s a carousel that never stops spinning, and keeping up means juggling my health and my child’s with what often feels like a cruelly inadequate amount of energy. 

Isolation gnaws at me. Friendships have dwindled; not everyone can understand the relentless nature of our daily lives. The world outside moves forward, oblivious to the stasis inside our home. It’s just us, navigating a sea of therapies, medical advice, and the latest research, clinging to hope but surrounded by a palpable loneliness that the presence of doctors and specialists can’t mitigate.

The guilt is overwhelming. Every time I choose rest over another activity, or when I’m too ill to do the kids’ choice activity, guilt washes over me like a tide, pulling me deeper into despair. The pressure to perform, to be the pillar of strength my child needs, is suffocating.

Judgment, both from within and from others, casts long shadows over my days. I see the looks from others, the veiled pity or the barely hidden skepticism, as if my struggles are just poor excuses. And amidst this, my own inner critic never sleeps, always quick to point out my shortcomings, whispering that I should be doing more, that I’m not enough.

Admitting vulnerability might be perceived as a weakness by some, but for me, it has been my greatest source of strength. Recognizing when to ask for help has been crucial. I’ve found solace in online communities and support groups, sanctuaries where empathy flows freely, and judgment is checked at the door. These connections are lifelines on the darkest days, reminding me I’m not alone.

I’ve learned to find joy in the minuscule victories—the small steps forward, the moments of connection with my child that might seem minor to others but are monumental to us. Each smile, each word attempted, every small act of independence from him feels like a victory in a war that we are quietly winning together.

If you’re a mom like me, navigating the rough waters of chronic illness and special needs parenting, know this—you are the definition of strength. Even when you feel at your weakest, remember you are enduring more than most could imagine. Your love and perseverance are building a legacy of resilience.

This journey is arduous, and it’s okay to acknowledge that. It’s okay to feel broken, to have days where you can barely keep it together. But through this struggle, your spirit is tempered like steel, and your efforts are nothing short of heroic.

You are not alone. Every day you pick yourself up, piece yourself back together, and do it all over again—you are doing something extraordinary. You are more than just a mom. You are a warrior, fighting not just for your child’s well-being, but for your own. Take it one day at a time, forgive yourself, and keep fighting the good fight. Your strength is unparalleled, and you are truly remarkable.